23 Goldman Sachs Rich Gentleman Rules

If you ever want to learn how to be a rich distinguished gentleman why not learn from the best investment bankers in the world. We have grouped together some of the best marginally douche words of wisdom from bankers:


Never talk about where you want to school.

Always carry cash with you wherever you go.


Dress up. A suit jacket is socially acceptable at all times.


It’s ok to trade fun in your 70’s and 80’s for guaranteed fun in your 20’s & 30’s


If you want to use a public restroom I recommend 5-star hotels. Nothing beats going to the bathroom in a Four Seasons.


You will regret any tattoos you get.


Never hook up with an ex of one of your buddies

If waiting to get on a bus doesn’t create drive to improve your station in life, nothing will

Life is short. Have someone else clean your laundry.

You drink at a bar should be named after the ingredients in the actual drink.

Go to the gym more. There are enough funny drink fat guys in this world.

Tip more than 20% always

Have 1 day of the week where you don’t touch your cell phone at all!

When if doubt, always kiss the women.

Buy expensive clothing. It’s totally superficial, but women notice it and are judging you.

Do 25 pushups and situps before you get in the shower every morning.

Find a local bar near your house or apartment and become a regular.

Act like you’ve been there before. Don’t take selfies when you’re sitting in first class. People who do that a lot typically don’t take photos.

Pretty women who dress up and go to a bar want to be spoken to. Be brave and have foolish pride and confidence.

Find yourself a Verdana font in the streets and a Comic Sans in the sheets.

Buy at least 1 nice suit. Try and stay that size the rest of your life.

You may only request 1 song per night to be played in a club.

If it’s got bouncers and a line, walk away unless you know someone or like getting ripped off to feel important for a few hours.

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